Bittersweet and Baffling

Grab the coffee, grab the headphones. Grab the highlighter, grab the books. Grab the first open seat that you spot in the library, grab the very ounce of energy that you have remaining left inside of you . . . for these are the essentials of finals week.

This is the most crucial finals week that I have ever had . . . given, I’m only a sophomore. Not for long, however.

My sophomore year is coming to an end. Bittersweet and baffling all rolled into one.

I found myself this year. Not completely, but the little part of me that was lost for the longest time and needed a light to find the way. It was the tiny piece that once you find it, you know you are going to be all right and everything that doesn’t make sense suddenly doesn’t need to. You see, we as humans believe that we must know the answer to every little thing and we must know who we are going to marry and what our job will be and what our next concert will be and what meals we are going to have within the next week. But, I found the tiny speck within me that allowed me to be okay without knowing each aspect. It allowed me to live being content without knowing exactly where I’m going to end up and what I’m going to do each second of each day.

Sophomore year was certainly splendid — I lost friends and gained friends. I made mistakes and laughed it off. I grew mentally. I grew spiritually. I grew in a way that I have never grown before. I learned attributes about myself that was shocking but impressive.

You don’t need to know each tiny detail in order to live a full life. Just go with it. When you see a goal in front of you, go with it when arms wide open. When you see an opportunity knocking at your door, go with it with a full and thrusting heart.

The ending of sophomore year is both bittersweet and baffling. I cannot express how much I’m going to miss it, yet how much I’m looking forward to the next chapter in my life. Isn’t this what college is supposed to be like? Saddened by the end of the semester? Saddened because you are getting older, and a step closer into the real world? What about happy? Happy by the end of the semester? Happy because you managed to find a way to survive finals, and you are finally able to enjoy warm weather?

It’s both bittersweet and baffling, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

 

xoxo,

 

 

kodi.

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