For The Girls

As a girl in her 20’s, I have passions. I have goals, I have desires, and I have a hard time dealing with circumstances that sometimes shouldn’t have to be so onerous to deal with.

But also, as a girl in her 20’s, I find myself sulking over the smallest details, over exaggerating some situations, and looking towards celebrities or those who are higher than me to strive to be like. Why? It’s not as if I’m not content with myself, because I have definitely grown to love who I am. (Because if you don’t love yourself, then you’re never going to get to where you want to be). However, as a girl in her 20’s . . . I’m still just a young girl. And young girls, as we all know, have a bad habit of comparing and judging and wishing and wanting.

We have the days in which we feel our best and look our best, and then we find ourselves to be on cloud 9 when this occurs. We want to feel “pretty” and to feel “thin” and for others to feel a sense of fascination when they view us. But when these days are turned around, when we feel our worst and when we feel unsightly, we then look towards others that are put on a pedestal. We crave their shape, their skin tone, their thigh gap, their waist line, their personality, their belongings . . . we might even tear others down or try to compete with those next to us just so that we may feel better about ourselves. As a girl in her 20’s, I’ve seen this firsthand. I’ve experienced it. We all have.

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Jealousy, comparison, resentment. It all rips the joy that you are able to contain simply by dwelling on something that others have and you do not. Tearing them down won’t build you up, but yet it’s so easy to do so. Striving for something that they have and you might not won’t allow you to obtain that quality or object, but yet we desire it anyway.

Truth be told, you cannot be happy and envious at the same time. It just doesn’t work. Until we find a safe haven with where we are in life, what we look like, and what we are capable of achieving, then we will never have full satisfaction. To truly succeed at being yourself, it’s important to focus on your own potential. As a girl in her 20’s, I know that our goals and dreams might come from viewing other girls’ success. However, it can’t work like that. It won’t work like that. We know our boundaries and we know our capabilities. So what’s stopping us from doing what we are adept to?

Starting out in college, I looked towards other’s success in an attempt to find what I could achieve in my own life.

Oh, she went to be a nurse? She’s happy and successful . . . I could be a nurse, too. 

She visited California for an internship in broadcast journalism? She’s half-way famous . . . I could major in broadcast journalism, too. 

It wasn’t until I truly became myself, did what I knew what I was capable of doing, and found happiness in creating my own hobbies based off of my own passions and dreams that I truly found joy within my life. The comparison might not completely end, but it does subside.

As a girl in her 20’s, it takes time and effort to find who you truly are. You might not have Blake Lively’s legs to get you a photo shoot and you might not have Lena Dunham’s mind to land you a published article. However, keep working towards what you truly love. By doing this, the wishing and wanting will fade and bliss will be natural.

“Let everyone be sure to do his very best, for then he will have the personal satisfaction of work done well and won’t need to compare himself with someone else.” (Galatians 6:4 LB)

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