There’s this thing called the world . . . and, well, it can be cold. Very cold.
It can knock you down. It can break your heart. This world pushes us to our limits every second of every day, and it is up to us how we allow it to make us feel.
The past few weeks for me have been challenging. I have excessively buried myself in work and applications and deadlines, and on top of it all there have been senseless altercations that I have had to deal with.
I’ve come to my knees quite a bit the past couple of weeks and I have attempted to look forward because I know that is the only other thing left to do. God first and then a different mindset, is what I keep reminding myself.
This is a big, big world. Sometimes we believe that we are bigger. But before we know it, we are trying to conquer the unconquerable and question the unquestionable and ignore the things that are impossible to ignore.
And sometimes, our hearts get tired and our heads get confused. It’s life. I’m still learning about it, and I’m still pursuing it to the best of my ability. It’s just that every now and then, like today, my “best” is simply responding back to those who talk to me and getting up to check the weather before I head back to bed again.
I’m graduating college in less that two months. This is so surreal to me. This life passes us by in the blink of an eye. I can remember when I started this blog . . . I was a sophomore in college and it was raining outside. I was sitting on the University of Arkansas’s campus staring out of the window at the people passing by on the sidewalks holding their umbrellas, struggling to walk up these hills in the troublesome rain. My thoughts were running wild, as usual, and I realized in that exact moment that I had to put them somewhere. Maybe someone will run across them and find at least some meaning in them, I thought.
A couple of months passed by and I continued to put my thoughts into words on this blog. A few people read what I had to say, and that was the extent of my blogging. But that was good enough for me.
A couple of years pass by and here I am, less than two months from graduating, with hardly any time to just sit and write anymore.
Before I know it, it will be two years from this moment in time. Maybe I will continue to put my ideas into writing at times or maybe I will have stopped by then. Maybe I will have obtained a job pursuing the major that I went to school for or maybe I will find something that better suits me at that point in time. Maybe I will have cut my hair or bought a dog or even possess my own home.
Wherever I may be two years from now, I just hope I know that although this world can be a cold place, it will get warmer very soon. Although there are obstacles and challenges that face me now, there will be a point in time that I wonder why I even stress about the things that I stress about. This life is beautiful, although sometimes tough. As my boyfriend always tells me, “It really is all about perspective, Kodi.”
Although my perspective is low right now, I know that it will be different tomorrow. I know that these hardships are just a stepping stone to where this life will lead me next. So I will simply continue to hit my knees and have a different mindset about the adversities that lie before me, for I know it will all be gone very soon. Perspective. Perspective. Perspective.
I also need to stop procrastinating and apply to Grad school before the night is over with.